did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
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Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I didn't notice because vodka
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You left your phone here
Wait...
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