jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
