WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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