I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
