Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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