This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
