What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
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Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
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Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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