I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
