we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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