I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i drank out of a bidet.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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