PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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