They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
