I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
