My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize