this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
