my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize