i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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