The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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