let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
