Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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