That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize