One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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