I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize