Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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