I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
