You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
