pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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