i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
