You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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