Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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