Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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