rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
