Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
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Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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