omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
two words...techno handjob
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
