I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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