no. you can't hotbox the world.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
