Sponge bath it is.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
