Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years