how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
30 Times Ryan Reynolds’ Replies Were The Funniest Thing On Twitter
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.