She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.