i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't deserve a penis
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.