shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
