um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
