my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
