sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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