This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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