I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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