and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
