Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
