Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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