You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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