I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
