I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
