im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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