It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
