xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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