hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
