You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
